(For those who don’t know what a satire is, it is a highly sarcastic response to a legitimate problem. Just keep in mind this post is dripping with sarcasm.)

Cell phones have become essential in the daily lives of everyday Americans. They make the world faster and bring efficiency to both the business and social world. The exceptional social benefits of the smart phone are wonderfully demonstrated in the quintessential American teenager. The teenager is so enamored with this advancement in science that he has built a whole social life for himself in this box. It is painful and unproductive for him to look up from his phone while his world sits in his screen. In fact, it would be much more productive for him to glue this object to his hand, that way he could never be separated from it. Better yet, his phone screen should be placed inside his hand, so that he is permanently fixed to his phone. This would be highly beneficial to every teenager, as almost all their cell phone worries would be abolished.  Never again would they loose their phone and suffer from the lack of a social life. Their social life now follows them everywhere. Now, they are physically unable to give their phone to their parents. Mom and dad never can read their texts again. The best part about this extremely valuable solution is this: one would never have the obligation to talk with anyone! Instead, they can text and call anyone without ever having to look them in the eye. All awkward eye contact and forced small talk would be gone instead genuine and intimate friendships could be established without ever having to physically open one’s mouth. Any disagreeable persons could be blocked, and one will never have to like their picture or answer their texts again. Unfortunately, my own hands are much to small for a screen to fit inside their palms, so I will not be able to partake in this progression of the human race.

(Image from Pinterest)