Am I a burden to You?

I know this isn’t true.

But I wonder with all that I do –

The turning away, my fragile fidelity,

This paralyzing inability to do anything right,

This feeling that perhaps Your love, in all it’s might, has excluded me –

If I am a burden to You.

You say You love me, a fact my logic does not deny.

But my heart flounders and flops,

The darkness of false loneliness tugging on it, a deep rooted lie.

Your love is real.

And I’m sorry for my questioning.

Your love transcends my doubting,

It is true no matter what I ask.

It doesn’t relay on I.

But extend Your hand to me,

For I cannot see.

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them a light has shone.” 

“Oh, to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be! Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee: prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; here’s my heart, O take and seal it; seal it for thy courts above.”